Thursday, December 25 2014
General Today Stuff:
Today is Christmas 2014 and I'm supposed to be excited. This Christmas is very rough on our family as my beautiful father passed away exactly 4 weeks ago. I miss him so much. Today we had Grandma over who has alzheimers. As much as I love my Grandmother it is so hard to see her wasting away and then feeling the way I do sometimes I feel as if I'm following close behind her. I took my daily picture...and honestly I look as bad as I have felt today. Yes, there is a smile on my face but inside I am hurting and have extended myself too much to where I couldn't go change into some nicer clothes and do my hair and makeup. This Christmas was like no other Christmas. All of our previous Christmas' have been filled with fun, laughter, food and dressing up. This year, no money, the loss of my father, their grandfather and my mom's only love. When I post pictures I hope they can help others. This is raw....this is me...and this is my life after mold.
How I feel in general and what were all of my symptoms:
I woke up feeling very sick this morning. It seems like the depression is gaining ground and I really have to fight hard to avoid being taken over by it. I had an overwhelming constant chronic fatigue today where I could barely function.
Some skin mottling
My worst moment today:
This morning after cooking only half the meal I fell very ill and had to lay down for an hour...I had to ask the kids for assistance to help finish the cleaning, dishes and making the remaining side dishes.
My best times today:
After the meal I felt a slight improvement in the chronic fatigue but that was all...I was feeling more steady to make cookies on my own...but I was very quiet to myself while the others were in the living room playing games.